Why Do New Managers Avoid Difficult Conversations?
New managers often avoid difficult conversations because nobody has shown them how to have one — and because escalating the issue can feel safer than getting the conversation wrong.
This is particularly common with accidental managers—people promoted because of their technical capability who have never received structured people-management development.
CIPD research reinforces this confidence gap.
Among employers experiencing barriers to managing workplace conflict, 38% identified managers lacking the confidence to challenge inappropriate behaviour as a barrier.
The same research found that 30% of employers provide no people-management training for managers.
The CIPD recommends equipping managers to address conflict early, before disagreements escalate into more serious disputes.
In practice, three problems commonly appear.
1. They don't know how to start the conversation
They know something needs addressing but aren't confident about what to say or how to say it
The conversation gets delayed
2. They worry about what will happen next
What if the employee becomes upset?
What if they complain?
What if they resign?
Avoidance can feel safer than getting the conversation wrong
3. They escalate the problem
Eventually the issue reaches the business owner or HR
The immediate problem may get solved—but the manager hasn't developed the capability to handle the next one
And that's how owner dependency develops
This isn't an isolated problem.
Research from the Chartered Management Institute found that 82% of managers entering management positions had received no formal management and leadership training. CMI describes this widespread group as “accidental managers”.
That matters because technical capability and people-management capability are different things.
Someone can be excellent at their job and still be completely unprepared for the conversations and decisions that come with managing people.
What Happens When Difficult Conversations Are Avoided?
Small people problems rarely stay small
An unaddressed lateness issue can become a wider standards problem
Poor performance that isn't addressed can affect colleagues
Inconsistent management can create perceptions of unfairness
And managers learn that when something becomes uncomfortable, someone more senior will eventually deal with it
The cost isn't simply the original employee issue
It's the dependency that develops around it
What Should You Look for in Difficult Conversations Training?
What to check
Why it matters
Question to ask
Ongoing vs one-off
Awareness can happen quickly; behaviour change takes practice
How do managers continue applying this afterwards?
Real workplace application
Skills need to work in real situations, not just exercises
Do managers work on their actual situations?
Coaching
Feedback helps managers improve their judgement and confidence
Is coaching built into the development?
Business-size fit
SME management challenges differ from large corporate environments
Do you regularly work with businesses our size?
Relevant experience
Context matters
Have you worked with organisations facing similar issues?
Reduced dependency
Development should increase internal capability
How will this result in fewer issues escalating upwards?
Ask any provider three questions:
What happens between training sessions?
How will managers apply what they learn to real workplace situations?
How will we know their behaviour has actually changed?
If the answers are vague, investigate further before buying
Why Isn't a One-Day Difficult Conversations Course Enough?
A one-day course can be useful for introducing a framework, building awareness and giving managers practical techniques.
The limitation comes when the organisation expects one day of learning, on its own, to create lasting behaviour change.
Knowing how to have a conversation and feeling confident enough to have that conversation with a real employee are different things.
That's why ongoing application matters.
Learn → Apply → Coach → Review → Repeat
Managers learn the approach.
They apply it to real workplace situations.
They receive coaching and feedback.
They review what happened.
Then they repeat the process.
That's how knowledge starts becoming management capability.
Best Training for New Managers in the UK: What to Look For in 2026
PM Business Support Services and Trusted Manager Programme™ — ongoing capability development for accidental managers in growing businesses
Acas — employment relations guidance and training
CIPD learning/training options — professional people-management and L&D context
ILM/leadership qualifications — structured management qualifications
Specialist independent providers — potentially appropriate where sector-specific development is needed
What Does the Trusted Manager Programme™ Cover?
The Trusted Manager Programme™ develops the practical capability managers need to handle people confidently and consistently.
Managers develop across the five capabilities of the Trusted Manager Framework™:
Values - Creates consistency in how managers think, decide and act
Coaching - Builds capability through effective conversations, feedback and development
Ownership - Creates confident decision-makers who take accountability and reduce unnecessary escalation
Leadership - Builds trust, clarity and confidence throughout the business
Compliance - Helps managers recognise and manage people risk consistently and understand when specialist support is required
The objective isn't to stop managers asking for help.
It's to develop managers who can handle what they should handle—and recognise when something genuinely needs escalating.
What this looks like in practice
One business I worked with wasn't dealing with a particularly complex HR problem.
The real issue was that routine management decisions kept going back to the business owner.
Managers could identify that something wasn't right, but lacked the confidence to address it early.
By the time the owner became involved, what could have been a straightforward management conversation had become a much bigger issue.
The solution wasn't another policy.
It was developing the manager's confidence and capability to recognise the issue, have the conversation and take appropriate action earlier.
A manager avoided a lateness conversation for three months
What started as a relatively straightforward issue became more difficult because it hadn't been addressed early.
By the time the business owner became involved, the issue had already been allowed to drift.
This is exactly why developing manager capability matters.
The goal isn't for managers to handle everything alone.
It's for them to have the confidence and judgement to deal with appropriate issues early—and recognise when something genuinely needs to be escalated.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who Is the Trusted Manager Programme™ For?
The Trusted Manager Programme™ is designed for growing UK businesses, particularly those with approximately 50–200 employees, where technically capable people have moved into management roles without structured people-management development.
It's particularly relevant when:
Managers avoid difficult conversations
Performance issues aren't addressed early
People decisions are inconsistent
Managers repeatedly seek reassurance from the owner
The owner remains the escalation point for routine people matters
The business wants to build management capability as it grows
How Do You Know Whether Your Managers Need Support?
Start by Understanding Where the Gaps Are
Watch the free 30-minute training: Stop Being the Person Every People Problem Comes Back To
You'll discover:
Why people issues continue escalating
The three capability gaps that keep owners stuck
The five capabilities of a Trusted Manager
The first practical step towards reducing owner dependency
After the webinar, you'll be invited to complete the Trusted Manager Capability & People Risk Review™ to identify where your organisation is already strong and where capability gaps may be creating unnecessary escalation, inconsistency or people risk.
What is the best training for a new manager?
The best training depends on the capability gap.
For managers who understand their technical role but struggle with people management, look for development that combines practical learning with real workplace application, feedback and ongoing coaching.
Why do new managers struggle with difficult conversations?
Often because they've been promoted for technical capability without being taught how to manage performance, behaviour, conflict or other people issues. Avoidance can then become the safest-feeling option.
Is difficult conversations training enough?
It can be an excellent starting point, but lasting behaviour change usually requires managers to apply the learning repeatedly to real workplace situations and receive feedback and support.
What's the difference between manager development and HR support?
HR support can provide specialist advice, policies and guidance.
Manager development builds the internal capability to handle appropriate day-to-day people matters confidently and recognise when specialist HR advice is required.
What is the first step if we're considering the Trusted Manager Programme™?
Start with the free 30-minute webinar, Stop Being the Person Every People Problem Comes Back To. It explains the accidental manager problem, the capability gaps that create owner dependency and the Trusted Manager™ approach before you make any commitment.
After the webinar, you'll be invited to complete the Trusted Manager Capability & People Risk Review™ to identify where your organisation's priorities may lie.
About the Author
Pam Molyneux, FCIPD is the founder of PM Business Support Services and creator of the Trusted Manager™ Framework.
A Chartered Fellow of the CIPD, Pam works with growing UK businesses to develop confident, capable managers, reduce owner dependency and strengthen people-management capability.
Connect with Pam on LinkedIn
© 2026 PMBSS - All Rights Reserved
VAT Reg No: 374775649
Company Number: 13247539
